We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve.

Shocking as it is- we never fully accept the people around us without considering the opinions of others. As my friend and I complained to each other how there were never any boys into us, I realized that they were-and are. In my mind I hadn't counted those people as potential anythings based purely on the fact that no one around me liked them. Realizing this, I also discovered that even if I liked that person back, I would never date them. The superficial reason being that they weren't popular or hot enough. The mere idea of typing this out makes me want to punch myself in the face. Looking around me now I see those couples who disregard age, status, and popularity, and still seem happier than I am.
Questioning those social limitations that exist in high school today is difficult, even if you are able to recognize them. For example when my friend and I were gushing about prom and all the cute couples that were going, my mom interjected and asked "Why don't you two ask a junior or senior?". The mere suggestion made us both explode into giggles, but the reality of it was that we couldn't. It was just "some unspoken rule". There are plenty of guys that I can tell are interested in me, but before today, they didn't seem to count in my mind. Maybe it was the possible rejection of friends, or the fear of diminishing my social status, that erased these eligible guys from my mind when asked if anyone liked me. In fact when that question was asked, "does anyone like you", my mind would automatically think of those popular boys that everyone knew. My answer would immediately be no, after all none of those guys expressed any interest in me. In a way, answering "no" was my own personal rejection of these perfectly eligible guys; rejection that rooted from those late-night gossip sessions, or those opinions of those more popular.
I can't sit here and discuss this without putting blame on myself. If I am going to complain about my love life, I can't-and won't let myself forget about those genuinely sweet guys who like me for me. Maybe, in my mind, all I see myself looking for are those popular, universally hot guys, but in reality, all I want is someone who likes me for me. There have been multitudes of times when a guy has liked me, and I have silently reciprocated his feelings, but done nothing in fear of being judged. In high school each day come with judgement, and the fact that I can't tell my friends that I like a guy, or even acknowledge him, saddens me. Ladies if we are going to complain about how no one likes us, think to that guy who might like you. The guy who is sweet and genuine, but the same guy who your friends find weird. Screw their opinions though, after all you will be the one dating him, not them.
Remember who you are. Forget the unspoken rule of high school. Find happiness that makes you bloom and keep it. After all those who can't accept you or your decisions, don't deserve you. We'll all be out of here soon (high school wise).
xoxo Paloma

The picture is just some photography done by me. Play Teen Idle by Marina and the Diamonds to get in the mood.